The holidays are the perfect time to express our love for our family. This year, how about starting to incorporate adoption into your annual holiday traditions with these simple practices:
Light a candle
Say a prayer, express your gratitude, or reflect on the reasons why you love the people in your life who are there because of adoption. Create a quiet tradition that allows you to gather with your loved ones and reflect on birth family, adoptive family and adopted children.
Send something in the mail
Gifts don’t have to cost much! Sometimes the best way to let someone in your adoption triad know that you’re thinking of them is to collect photos, write a letter, have the kids draw a picture, and send it out in the mail. Talk about the year, update them on your life, or tell them that you love them and are thinking of them.
Make space for sad feelings
The holidays can bring a mix of emotions. Remember that it’s okay if not all of those feelings are happy ones. Adoptees may feel sad around this time of year when thinking about their birth family. Birth parents may feel the loss of their birth child more deeply. As well as the adoptive parents may grieve the losses the birth parents and their child have felt. The best way to honor these feelings is to talk about them together and acknowledge that it’s okay to feel both happy and sad about adoption.
Pick up the phone
A phone call on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day can mean the world to the members of your adoption triad. Even sending a text with a photo is an easy way to let someone know you’re thinking of them.
Schedule a visit
If your adoption includes visits, the holidays are the perfect time of year to get together. Try to book your visit in advance. Everyone gets busy during this season! Grabbing lunch, seeing Santa together, or taking a walk to see the lights are all simple ways to catch up in person.
Make an ornament
Every year, you could get crafty and make an ornament. It can be painted, feature a photo of your child from that year, or even a theme! Send it to the members in your adoption triad, or hang it on your own “memory tree,” then watch them add up throughout the years. I think this one is my favorite!
Re-tell your adoption story
Adoption isn’t a one-time conversation. It should be a common theme and celebrated topic in your home. This season is often a time to reflect on the past, and look toward the future. So, this is the perfect time to re-tell your child’s adoption story. If possible, birth and adoptive parents can join together (even if it’s just virtually) to tell the story and express the love they continue to feel. The holiday season is all about expressing love and gratitude for families of all kinds!
*What are your family’s favorite holiday traditions? How do you find ways to honor adoption during the holiday season? Let us know in the comments
This blog post was written by Post Adopt Coordinator, NaTasha Sawicki, LBSW